Monday, August 15, 2011

10 Great Ways to Get Fired

The other day at the office I was thinking it would be hilarious if someone sent an inappropriate email forward to the entire company by mistake.  And with that motivation, I’ve created a list of some of the funniest ways I can imagine someone could be fired from work.  By no means do I endorse you doing any of the following, but would love to tell the stories for years to come.


1.      Send an inappropriate email forward to your entire company – Might as well start here with this post.  Whether you know the sender or not, it would just crack me up to see someone accidentally email the company a forward that contained inappropriate pictures or subject.  You’re fired!
2.      Intentionally email your company or management an email telling them off – I bet most people have thought about what they would say to some of their leadership if they just lost their temper and didn’t care about being fired.  How funny would it be to see someone’s email that did just that?  You’re fired!
3.      Make a scene at a team meeting or function – Whether at a company picnic or department staff meeting, make a huge dramatic scene about whatever tickles your fancy.  And don’t stop the rant until the police arrive.  You’re fired!
4.      Go streaking across your company’s campus – We’ve heard about them or seen them on the news at sporting events, but what about work?  What a story to tell about the employee who streaked naked across the company’s campus one afternoon.  And by the way, you’re fired!
5.      Tell your mean boss what you think of them – For those who have had horrible bosses, you know what I’m talking about.  Go to their office and let ‘em know exactly how you feel.  Don’t be politically correct about it; just lay it all out there.  Just make sure your things are already packed, because after that you will be fired.
6.      Destroy that pesky copy machine a la Office Space – Office workers all have that 1 piece of equipment that just does not cooperate.  Whether you haul it out to a field and take a baseball bat to it, or shove it down the stairs, oh what a way to go.  You’re fired!
7.      Come to work, and ignore all your work responsibilities – Just go in and work on all the personal tasks you’d like.  Surf the internet, play games, socialize; anything other than work.  See how long it takes for you to be reprimanded, and continue doing the same thing.  And before too long, you’ll be fired.
8.      Create an office supply online store, using company property – I don’t know how long you would get away with it, but it would be one heck of a story to tell my friends and family.  Start out small with paper, pens, paperclips, etc.   Then upgrade to toner, printers, copiers, monitors and computers.  You’re fired!  (Not to mentioned arrested).
9.      Prank call all the senior leaders of your company from someone else’s phone – Our work provides you info on exactly who’s calling, but if you can disguise your voice you could wreak some havoc.  Sneak into a director’s office and call other directors with critical changes to the business strategy.  See how long it takes for them to catch on.  When they do, you’re fired.
10.  Fake and email from your Director - Email department employees from your director’s email (requires unlocked computer and temporarily vacant office) with a notice that due to great corporate success, employees will be receiving $5000 bonus checks for all their hard work.  It won’t take long before co-workers across the floor will be ecstatic with the news, and someone will find out it is not real.  When the fingers point back to you, you will be fired…and probably beat up later by your co-workers.

Again, I do not endorse or support any of these actions.  But I could only imagine how funny it would be to see them come true in my professional lifetime.  I’ll just have to wait and see.

2 comments:

  1. Lol...love your "10 great ways to get fired" IT MADE MY DAY, MADE MY HEART SMILE JUST IMAGING EACH ONE. THIS WOULD MAKE a FUNNY MOVIE . Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  2. You know if I worked an an office I wouldn't be going through the stuff I'm going through right now!!!!
    Try working in a grocery store.... Need I say more???

    ReplyDelete

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